New Game Shows for the 21st Century

Ugh, can I tell you how much I loathe the new Fox game show "Moment of Truth." For the benefit of those of you reading this who are not from the US or haven't seen this show, watch this clip. In it, the blonde gal getting asked the lie-detector questions is the contestant; the cute guy with glasses squirming from the uncomfortableness of it all is her husband; the others are her parents and sister I believe. Sorry, but I couldn't embed the video, and I started getting annoyed. So, here's the direct link to this clip from YouTube.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FzZWqYWhdQw

Really, I think it should be renamed "How Much of Your Dignity and Your Family's Happiness Are You Willing to Sacrifice for $$$$." What a cheap shot at capitalizing on people's "dirty laundry" and said emotional upheaval that follows when revealing said dirty laundry just for ratings. I mean, the least Fox could do is cover the costs of the therapy that these people are going to need after appearing on this craptastic game show.

Anyway, it got me to wondering. You want television ratings? You want game shows that inject
a bit of reality and personal drama and heartache? Fine, I've come up with a list of more appropriate game shows that I'd like to see for the 21st Century.

"Political Plunderings" In this exciting game, contestants are matched with a politician on the verge of career collapse. Based on each player's individual politician's series of indiscretions, it's up to the player to guess (1) how many days it will take the politician's lawyers to devise a plea bargain before said politician resigns their office, and (2) what mental illness or addiction will said politician concoct to absolve themselves from the duty of taking personal responsibility for said indiscretions.

"Sell My Dignity" (Based on the Fox smash hit "Moment of Truth")In this lively, soul-crushing, family-dividing game, contestants are offered the opportunity to reveal the most heinous, horrendous, personal tragedy stories to an unsympathetic studio audience. The story that garners the biggest television series ratings boost wins a nominal monetary award but loses all dignity (and friends, family, and loved ones).

"I Wanna Be Edgy" Contestants in this game who crave to be edgy are given that very opportunity, but this show doesn't involve Hot Topic boutique-style clothes or multicolored hair. In this game show, contestants wanting that edgy vibe to their personalities to make themselves more interesting are shuffled off to various inner cities (depending on where the contestant lives), given $25 and a slum house to live in, and are left there for one week to fend for themselves. In this game, the contestant who survives, say, living in Cabrini Green (if they are from Chicago) or the North Metro (if they are from Minneapolis) wins. Plus, you'll have some pretty cool stories to tell your friends.

"Can I Keep My House" Contestants in this game are given a choice of three mortgage lenders to finance the purchase of their home. Hilarity ensues when all the contestants find out they've all been given a subprime lender. The object of the game then becomes what you need to do to save your house. Winners in this game don't have to go into foreclosure.

"What's On My Hard Drive" You play this game by allowing our television cameras to come to your home and have our experts extract all of the contents on your hard drive. You win if we don't find anything incriminating.

"Feed Me To The Lions" Contestants in this game are gathered up from online forums. We look for those individuals who have hidden behind the Internet to hurl their *alsdjflas!sadk##@@*** contemptuous rude remarks at other unsuspecting online users. Once we've found you, you are given the opportunity to come face to face with the people you've insulted and offended. You win if you apologize and your apology is accepted. Plus, we'll give you a T-shirt and a pat on the back for being a decent human being (and a monetary reward, but we won't tell you how much).

"Run For Your Life" Will give you the task of facing a group of rabid fangirls (and guys). The object of this game is for you to criticize unrelentlessly their most beloved band of the moment. We will then give you a 10 second head start to run for you life after we let the "fans" loose on you. You win if you can make it to our safe house before the fans get to you or when the fans loose interest in their band of the moment (which shouldn't take too long).

"What Can I Eat Tonight" In this game, we'll give you $25 and drop you off at your local chain supermarket. The object of the game is to buy enough food to feed yourself and your family for an entire week. A second more interesting aspect of this game is buying food products that are not tainted, tarnished, rancid, or manipulated. Winners of this game will get free groceries for a year and penicillin shots (just in case).