Junk Food Junkie, Not!

I live in an absolutely great state. Seriously, I love it here in Minnesota. I also live in a section of Minnesota dubiously titled "Med City." I never in my wildest dreams as a young rebel listening to the Sex Pistols and the Clash and shouting "Anarchy" whenever the opportunity presented itself would imagine that access to stellar healthcare would be a decision in my choice of where to live. However, not only did this influence my decision, I also became a part of the healthcare industry. So, aside from my love of music and horror movies, I also add a love of medically-related things. How random is that?

So, I listen to the news and hear that my great state no longer holds the distinction of being the healthiest state in America. What? The state where one of the most widely recognized and esteemed healthcare facilities calls home?

Apparently, in the 2007 study of America's health rankings, there was a decline overall in the health of the entire nation, and this was in spite of supposed progress made in several key health indicators. This report was submitted by the United Health Foundation, the American Public Health Association, and the Partnership for Prevention.

So, before I offer a wee bit of advice for our decline and how we can become healthier again (and this applies to all states), let me offer a few more startling statistics. First of all, Minnesota is now No. 2 in the rankings overshadowed by Vermont and followed by Hawaii. The least healthiest states are Mississippi, Louisiana, and Arkansas. Although reduction in rates of cancer and cardiovascular mortality has occurred, it is overshadowed by increases in obesity, more uninsured Americans, and risky health behaviors. Further, in the last six years, our health as a populous has "stagnated." Citing said report, increases in obesity (from 11.6% in 1990 to 25% today, roughly 55 million Americans classified as obese) and a "persistent lack of progress in key health measures," such as smoking, violent crime, and children in poverty have contributed to our stagnation.

I'm doing my part to try to get Minnesota back to the No. 1 slot and trying to become a healthier American. I do have a wonderful gym membership, and I am now going. I must admit, I do smoke; but I'm working on that as well (baby steps, please. I'm not perfect). I do not, however, ever smoke at work. That is weird, because sometimes my work shifts are very long; and not once do I crave nicotine. So, why don't I just quit if I can go that long? Well, going without for 12 hours as opposed to FOREVER is a big step, give me some time. The other thing that helps is that where I work is pretty much a smoke-free zone, of course, it's a medical facility. One of the other major reasons, as well, is the fact that it does not promote a healthy image to the patients who visit our facility. You don't want to see the physician who is going to treat you and tell you what you need to do to become healthier smoking a ciggie outside. I'm all for these reasons. I wholly support the logic. Plus, you can get into a smite bit of trouble as an employee if you are caught smoking on the grounds (that might be the biggest reason I have, sorry).

So, let's go one step further in this logic. We all know the concerns regarding the high rates of obesity in our country today. Additionally, obesity (as well as the risky behavior of smoking) is associated with a poor quality of life, chronic disease, compromised productivity in the workplace, and with an escalation in healthcare costs related to managing chronic illnesses. So, I propose that if you ban smoking in the workplace to promote wellness which in turn could decrease the rate of chronic illness and the costs associated with lost work time, decreased productivity, etc., you should also ban junk food. There, I said it. I know we don't want people telling us how to live our lives (especially our employers), and we shouldn't have government stepping in to try to manage ALL of our societal problems; but I'm not saying you couldn't have that Twinkie when you got home; and if you don't want to go to a gym or try to quit smoking or what not---then don't. Live your life the way you want. However, when I go to work, and I hear about fellow employees asking for a separate coat room for the smokers because of the smell and secondhand smoke; I just need to say something as well. Okay, yes, I agree with you the smell is bad; and I'll put my coat in a separate coat room for you. I'm respectful like that. I'm not lighting up around you and blowing it in your face, so I don't think you need to worry about secondhand smoke (and I am aware of the risks involved in secondhand smoke, don't preach to me about it. I get it). But, please, don't tell me how unhealthy my behavior is when you weigh like 300 pounds and then become incensed when I mention that maybe that piece of cake the size of Rhode Island wouldn't be the best dietary choice for you.

If employers want healthy employees and to promote healthy habits, get rid of the crap you have in your vending machines and that you serve in your cafeterias; and if you do adopt healthier foods, lower the costs. Why is it that I can go to McDonald's and pretty much order half the menu for $10, yet if I go somewhere nice to have a good, healthy meal I'm practically spending half my paycheck for one dinner? Believe me, the costs you'll save in insurance, etc., will more than make up for the costs you invest in better food choices. I can't tell you how many times I've gone into the cafeteria and watched other emplyoees in there whose weight could be classifed in the obese to morbidly obese range eating crappy food and in extremely large portions. So, then, why do these same employees grump about how unhealthy my habit is and I should quit and I'm going to get cancer and give everybody else cancer; but yet, find nothing wrong with their extremely unhealthy and equally risky behaviors. Let's help them along like you were able to help me (by banning smoking) and ban the junk food!

And for America, why do you wonder why the proportion of Americans that potentially fall into the obese range are mostly poor? Well, junk food is cheap, healthy foods are not. Gym memberships are not cheap. Insurance is not cheap. Just something to think about. Whoa, this is long.

That's my two pence worth. I'm outta here...

New Game Shows for the 21st Century

Ugh, can I tell you how much I loathe the new Fox game show "Moment of Truth." For the benefit of those of you reading this who are not from the US or haven't seen this show, watch this clip. In it, the blonde gal getting asked the lie-detector questions is the contestant; the cute guy with glasses squirming from the uncomfortableness of it all is her husband; the others are her parents and sister I believe. Sorry, but I couldn't embed the video, and I started getting annoyed. So, here's the direct link to this clip from YouTube.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FzZWqYWhdQw

Really, I think it should be renamed "How Much of Your Dignity and Your Family's Happiness Are You Willing to Sacrifice for $$$$." What a cheap shot at capitalizing on people's "dirty laundry" and said emotional upheaval that follows when revealing said dirty laundry just for ratings. I mean, the least Fox could do is cover the costs of the therapy that these people are going to need after appearing on this craptastic game show.

Anyway, it got me to wondering. You want television ratings? You want game shows that inject
a bit of reality and personal drama and heartache? Fine, I've come up with a list of more appropriate game shows that I'd like to see for the 21st Century.

"Political Plunderings" In this exciting game, contestants are matched with a politician on the verge of career collapse. Based on each player's individual politician's series of indiscretions, it's up to the player to guess (1) how many days it will take the politician's lawyers to devise a plea bargain before said politician resigns their office, and (2) what mental illness or addiction will said politician concoct to absolve themselves from the duty of taking personal responsibility for said indiscretions.

"Sell My Dignity" (Based on the Fox smash hit "Moment of Truth")In this lively, soul-crushing, family-dividing game, contestants are offered the opportunity to reveal the most heinous, horrendous, personal tragedy stories to an unsympathetic studio audience. The story that garners the biggest television series ratings boost wins a nominal monetary award but loses all dignity (and friends, family, and loved ones).

"I Wanna Be Edgy" Contestants in this game who crave to be edgy are given that very opportunity, but this show doesn't involve Hot Topic boutique-style clothes or multicolored hair. In this game show, contestants wanting that edgy vibe to their personalities to make themselves more interesting are shuffled off to various inner cities (depending on where the contestant lives), given $25 and a slum house to live in, and are left there for one week to fend for themselves. In this game, the contestant who survives, say, living in Cabrini Green (if they are from Chicago) or the North Metro (if they are from Minneapolis) wins. Plus, you'll have some pretty cool stories to tell your friends.

"Can I Keep My House" Contestants in this game are given a choice of three mortgage lenders to finance the purchase of their home. Hilarity ensues when all the contestants find out they've all been given a subprime lender. The object of the game then becomes what you need to do to save your house. Winners in this game don't have to go into foreclosure.

"What's On My Hard Drive" You play this game by allowing our television cameras to come to your home and have our experts extract all of the contents on your hard drive. You win if we don't find anything incriminating.

"Feed Me To The Lions" Contestants in this game are gathered up from online forums. We look for those individuals who have hidden behind the Internet to hurl their *alsdjflas!sadk##@@*** contemptuous rude remarks at other unsuspecting online users. Once we've found you, you are given the opportunity to come face to face with the people you've insulted and offended. You win if you apologize and your apology is accepted. Plus, we'll give you a T-shirt and a pat on the back for being a decent human being (and a monetary reward, but we won't tell you how much).

"Run For Your Life" Will give you the task of facing a group of rabid fangirls (and guys). The object of this game is for you to criticize unrelentlessly their most beloved band of the moment. We will then give you a 10 second head start to run for you life after we let the "fans" loose on you. You win if you can make it to our safe house before the fans get to you or when the fans loose interest in their band of the moment (which shouldn't take too long).

"What Can I Eat Tonight" In this game, we'll give you $25 and drop you off at your local chain supermarket. The object of the game is to buy enough food to feed yourself and your family for an entire week. A second more interesting aspect of this game is buying food products that are not tainted, tarnished, rancid, or manipulated. Winners of this game will get free groceries for a year and penicillin shots (just in case).

Helpful Hints For Your Day In Court

Tips for Not Getting Your Case Thrown Out of Court/Losing Your Case/Making Yourself Look The Fool
Or…Ways To Try and Win Your Case In Court or Not Even Have to Go To Court To Begin With…

(Inspired by my watching Judge Joe Brown today. For those of you unfamiliar, this is a half-hour, reality-based courtroom television show presided over by the wonderful Judge Brown).


When you’re being sued by someone for physical damages to their property (let’s say you keyed their car), DO NOT use “because I was mad” as a defense. Further, if you incur physical damages to the plaintiff themselves (let’s say you clocked someone in the head or punched them in the neck); again, using “because I was mad” will not fly. Your anger is not a defense for your actions. It may feel good at the time to key your boyfriend’s or girlfriend’s car because they cheated on you; it may feel good to punch someone in the neck for being generally annoying---but it’s going to cost you in the end if you’re taken to court. Come up with a better defense or just own up to your impulsive actions. Oh, and take an anger management class or get a hobby. (Plus, the criminal charges and all…blech)!

When someone takes you to court let’s say in this instance it’s a former friend who is suing you for a loan they made to you, the defense of “I couldn’t pay because I don’t have it” will not work. Some seem to think that this is a legitimate defense a la “you can’t get blood from a stone,” but it actually doesn’t work that way in court. Most likely, the judge will tell you to get a job and pay off the debt. Bonus points if you cross your arms over your chest and roll your eyes. The judge may throw on an interest penalty as well. Yeah for you!

You cannot dismiss a debt because the individual trying to collect on debt called you constantly. This is not harassment. This is not a reason to dismiss the debt. This is not pain and suffering. Here’s a solution…pay the person and then the calls will magically go away; and if they don’t, report it to the phone company for possible harassment.

You get into a spat with someone at work for whatever reasons. Let’s say that the amount of time you spent at work embroiled in this battle leads to your ultimate termination (oh, plus you have exceeding amounts of unexcused absences and got into a shouting match with said someone at work which involved the liberal and uncensored use of curse words). You take said someone to court for defamation, because the vicious battles at work led to your unemployed state and now you can’t get a job. Okay, defamation doesn’t really work this way. If you can’t get along with someone at work and said someone and you battle it out at work name-calling and gossiping, this is just juvenile behavior and not worthy of the court’s time. Defamation actually is, “the communication of a statement that makes a false claim, expressively stated or implied to be factual, that may harm the reputation of an individual, business, product, group, government or nation” (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defamation). So, to be perfectly clear a cause for action for a defamation claim is truth. If someone calls you an idiot, it could be the truth and you really could be an idiot; hence, not a cause for civil action. On the flip side, if someone claims you have AIDS, you were a drug smuggler once, you beat your children daily, you steal from your customers and what not, and this verbal vomit causes you to lose your job---now, you possibly have a defamation case. Watch what you say people!

Let’s say you borrow your pal’s car to drive to the store. On your way while texting said pal, you crash said car. Telling the judge that you should be dismissed from the liability because it was your friend’s fault for you crashing the car because your friend let you use the car and your friend knew you were a bad driver without a license is not a defense. I think of this as the “Animal House” defense…(pardon the language here, I’m quoting Eric ‘Otter’ Stratton)…”You fucked up, you trusted us.” As funny as that may be, the judge will not be laughing. Even if your friend knew you were a horrible driver with no license and they let you use the car anyway, it is still not their fault you crashed the car. The operative word here is “you.” You crashed the car. It’s your fault, and now, you must pay. Sorry. That’s how the law works, although, again, it would be interesting if we could use the “Animal House” defense.

§ Me: “Can I borrow your ridiculously expensive car to drive around like an idiot and talk on my cell phone and blast my music so loud that the car vibrates from the sound of the bass in the speakers?”
§ You: “Well, do you know how to drive my particular model of ridiculously expensive car?”
§ Me: “Nah, I’ve never driven a stick shift before in my life.”
§ You: “Okay. Just be careful.”
§ Me: (minutes later) “I told you I never drove stick shift before. Really, I told you that. It’s your fault I crashed pulling away from the house. That squirrel came out of nowhere. You shouldn’t have let me drive it. Sorry. You’re fault, not mine.

Nope, it’s still your fault. Not your friend’s bad decision.


Sure, I have more tips for court; but, I’ll leave it at these for now….